Maybe you need this~

November is coming to an end; it's almost the year end. It's been such a rollercoaster, right? This whole year? Since I'm confident we all share the same life in different fonts, I just wanna say that I'm soooo proud of you. I'm soo proud of you for the way you handled situations, I'm so proud of you for the fact you handled that one failure/rejection, I'm so proud of you for the fact you've been patient. I know there must be a time where you felt hopeless and you had to push yourself from everything acting like you don't care when you cared about it the most. There was a time where you isolated yourself. Left things abruptly without thinking twice. And let me tell you. That is alright. What you did, you did it for yourself. And I'm proud of you for that fact. 

Do you remember? There was a time, when acting like this scared you; you longed to leave everything behind and prioritise yourself but you just weren't able to. But look at you now. I'm not saying isolation is healthy and you have to keep yourself away from everyone. But most of the time it's needed; and it's alright. It's alright to be quiet for a while reflect on your behaviour, decisions, agonise, cry, and do whatever you want to. Trust me on this- feeling emotions is a privilege, not a curse; even if it feels like one. 

I've always been the person to run on the clock, do 3 days of tasks in one day, and what not. I used to feel like I was being productive but trust me I wasn't; that was just me running away from myself. By the end of the day I used to get exhausted to the extent I used to pass-out the moment I hit the bed. If you are like this right now please slow down. It's not healthy. I know it burns us out to the extent where the consequence is something we're not ready to handle. Slow down. Breathe. It's alright. It's your life. Nothing is running away. 

By this time you must have realised that failure, that loss, that rejection, that end was needed and it was for the better; if you haven't you'll know soon and you will be grateful. You don't have to hate those moments especially when at one point they provided you immense comfort. Just because it felt right and beautiful doesn't mean it always has to be that way.

I really appreciate how this year turned out for me even though it might not be one of the best ones I've had so far. But trust me, this year I did things I never thought I would. I started an Instagram page and I started creating content; I've always been so insecure about myself and was agonizing over the fact I've so much to offer but I just can't. But this time I didn't let my emotions get the better of me and I said no! I just have to do it. And trust me, I don't regret it at all. In fact, people don't think about you as much as you think they are. And if they're then please know that they don't have a life and that's why they're spending their time picking out insecurities in other people, they're reflecting themselves and it has nothing to do with you.

I did things I never thought I would. I went out alone when my friends stood up on me. I ate alone at a restaurant. I went for it alone when no one was there for me. And maybe I realised that's how it was meant to be? About me just being me all along. That feeling when you've put in your headphones and you walk in like you own the place. When you're travelling and looking out of the window contemplating your whole life. Tiny moments when you laugh out of nowhere when you remember that one specific moment. And many more such things. Trust me on this. It's just about you. 

You're the main character of your life and you don't have to force other people into thinking it. It's your world and they're living in it. You don't have to prove yourself to them just because they think you're not confident enough, especially when you know you are and what you put yourself out in the world. Please don't feel insecure when someone comments on your weight or about anything related to you. It's just their opinions. Their opinions don't have to be the reality of you. Just be yourself. Do things you want, even when they already exist. Because they don't exist with your touch and please don't hold yourself back; this world needs more of you. 

As everything comes to an end even this has to. But I just wanna say one thing before leaving: when 2025 comes don't say please be kind to me while embracing it, just say I'll be kind to myself, I will give myself a chance; and things will fall in place better than you expected. *Sending hugs* and if no one told you this lately let me tell you. I'm glad you exist in the same timeline as me.